The devil is in the details

Our Hard Work

JP, Evan and I have been extremely busy and productive all day long. So that you can see exactly what kind of things we have been up to, we offer you a link and some samples that we made.

As we did these Mad Libs, I was laughing so hard that I could not breathe, so please do them at your own risk. Also, I would recommend not trying to do these Mad Libs around me if you don't want me to yell "THAT'S NOT A CRIME!" as you fill in the crime blanks. Lawyers, back me up...neither dismemberment, nor biting, nor pecking are crimes, right?

For your amusement

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Jenny's Office party. It was Evan who spiked the punch with too much martini. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Obsession.

I thought it was funny when I put Andrew's tighty whities on my head and danced the Dance Dance Revolution on the Chair while singing `Rudolph the red nosed reindeer'. I didn't mean to break Jenny's IPod and don't know why Jenny would accuse me of Stealing.

I don't remember calling Ben's wife a whorish Sheep---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and white lipstick!

And when I threw up on Kate's husband's nose, it was only because I ate too much of that french fries.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my bulldozer through my neighbor's basement. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a ugly horse and have me arrested for jaywalking!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all antique and orange. And I'm really not to blame for any of this silly stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and briskly yours,
Brianne (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 256 bucks!

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Bree's Office party. It was Jenny who spiked the punch with too much Long Island Ice Tea. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like garlic.

I thought it was funny when I put Rachel's boxer briefs on my head and danced the Macarena on the stool while singing `Me So Horny'. I didn't mean to break Bree's digital camera and don't know why Bree would accuse me of sodomy.

I don't remember calling Chris's wife a sticky donkey---even though she looked like one with grey eye shadow and purple lipstick!

And when I threw up on Kate's husband's ass, it was only because I ate too much of that cheese.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my moped through my neighbor's chimney. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a malodorous moose and have me arrested for dismemberment!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all carnal and fishy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this vile stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and gingerly yours,
Evan (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 25 bucks!

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Evan's Office party. It was Bacardi Breezer who spiked the punch with too much 40s. I can't help it if I drank 3.141519 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like skunk.

I thought it was funny when I put AliCat's leg warmers on my head and danced the the running man on the soapbox while singing `I'm too sexy'. I didn't mean to break Evan's vibrator and don't know why Evan would accuse me of biting.

I don't remember calling patrick's wife a hairy cock---even though she looked like one with rainbow eye shadow and yellow lipstick!

And when I threw up on Ling's husband's pinky toe, it was only because I ate too much of that quesadillas.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my unicycle through my neighbor's attic. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a fleshy penguin and have me arrested for pecking!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all green and gooey. And I'm really not to blame for any of this salty stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and gleefully yours,
Jenny (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 69 bucks!

posted by Immunegirl @ 2:07 PM